I have been wanting to write about this topic for a long time now. But it just didn’t seem right until now.
I’m gonna be getting very REAL with you all…so I hope you’re ready for it!
If you would have asked me a couple of years ago what I thought about being a single mom, or even a year ago, I probably would have said, “It sucks!” I was not happy about it, didn’t want it, and pushed against it for a long time, because it felt like a burden to me.
Today, however, I feel a lot differently. It wasn’t by choice that I became a single mom, however, I am embracing it for what it is. And I don’t think I will be a single mom forever.
I feel differently enough now about being a single mom, that I wrote a Pros and Cons list about being a single parent. (I write a lot of Pros and Cons lists and this was one of my favorite ones to write). Because even though it is tough being a single parent, there are actually quite a number of perks about it, and some people choose to be a single parent, so I wanted to look at it from that angle as well.
- You set your own rules
- You get lots of quality time with your child
- Your bond with your child may be stronger because it’s just you and them
- If you’re in a co-parenting relationship, you may get some time off when the other parent has your child
- Your children don’t live with arguing parents which could create a toxic household
- Your child gets undivided attention from the parent
- There can be more flexibility in schedules and activities
- You don’t have a live-in support system
- There isn’t another parent to back up your decisions or ground rules
- There are potentially different sets of rules between parents
- Child doesn’t see example of committed loving relationship in household
- It can be difficult to date – finding free time, introducing new partner to child
- It can be difficult to travel with a child without support of another parent
- It can be difficult to establish a routine if child living in more than one household; there is a readjustment period in each household
As you can see my lists are pretty even in terms of the pros and cons of being a single parent. (And I’m sure there are many more things that I didn’t mention!) Being a single parent has both its advantages and disadvantages. I think being a single parent has definitely made me stronger as a person and as a mother. I don’t wish for people to be single parents, but I do know that it can be be done with grace and it is not a situation that needs to last forever. There are many tools that can make the transition to or from single parenthood a smoother one. I will talk about that in another blogpost. For now…
Wishing you a wonderful week.