The Pros and Cons of Being a Single Parent

single mom hand hold

I have been wanting to write about this topic for a long time now. But it just didn’t seem right until now.

I’m gonna be getting very REAL with you all…so I hope you’re ready for it!

If you would have asked me a couple of years ago what I thought about being a single mom, or even a year ago, I probably would have said, “It sucks!” I was not happy about it, didn’t want it, and pushed against it for a long time, because it felt like a burden to me.

Today, however, I feel a lot differently. It wasn’t by choice that I became a single mom, however, I am embracing it for what it is. And I don’t think I will be a single mom forever.

I feel differently enough now about being a single mom, that I wrote a Pros and Cons list about being a single parent. (I write a lot of Pros and Cons lists and this was one of my favorite ones to write). Because even though it is tough being a single parent, there are actually quite a number of perks about it, and some people choose to be a single parent, so I wanted to look at it from that angle as well.

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         (Me and my daughter at the beach for Mother’s Day)
Pros About Being A Single Parent:
  • You set your own rules
  • You get lots of quality time with your child
  • Your bond with your child may be stronger because it’s just you and them
  • If you’re in a co-parenting relationship, you may get some time off when the other parent has your child
  • Your children don’t live with arguing parents which could create a toxic household
  • Your child gets undivided attention from the parent
  • There can be more flexibility in schedules and activities
Cons About Being A Single Parent:
  • You don’t have a live-in support system
  • There isn’t another parent to back up your decisions or ground rules
  • There are potentially different sets of rules between parents
  • Child doesn’t see example of committed loving relationship in household
  • It can be difficult to date – finding free time, introducing new partner to child
  • It can be difficult to travel with a child without support of another parent
  • It can be difficult to establish a routine if child living in more than one household; there is a readjustment period in each household

As you can see my lists are pretty even in terms of the pros and cons of being a single parent. (And I’m sure there are many more things that I didn’t mention!) Being a single parent has both its advantages and disadvantages. I think being a single parent has definitely made me stronger as a person and as a mother. I don’t wish for people to be single parents, but I do know that it can be be done with grace and it is not a situation that needs to last forever. There are many tools that can make the transition to or from single parenthood a smoother one. I will talk about that in another blogpost. For now…

Single-mom

Wishing you a wonderful week.

Love,
Anik

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4 thoughts on “The Pros and Cons of Being a Single Parent”

  1. Single Parenting is hard.But the pure joy which I get when my two kids snuggle into my arms can’t be explained. Single Parenting has made me stronger and it has given me a chance to learn about myself. It’s not a smooth ride, but a bumpy ride with lots of love and pride.

    1. So true Lana. It is a bumpy ride and it is very hard. It’s nice to know there are other single parents that feel the same way and that we have each other’s support in this. Congrats to you for your strength and endurance!

  2. I love to see your thoughts on this Anik, you are one of several strong, exemplary single moms I know. On my side, sometimes I’m delighted with “mom only time” and others so thankful for an in-home alternative. There’s an art (which may take 18+ years of mastery!) to finding the balance in all situations!

    1. Thank you so much Michelle. I agree that it takes years of mastery to conquer the art of parenting…whether as a single parent or with both parents in the household…always trying to find some balance in the situation…and many times feeling like we are coming up short! It is with pride now that I call myself a single parent in a co-parenting relationship and it definitely is something I work on every day!

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